You think hockey has fighting? That’s kid stuff compared to golf. It’s not so much the fist flying variety that you’re likely to see though – it’s the inner demon battles being waged that, if you’re paying attention, you’ll see pretty much non-stop on every course every day.

Take yesterday. My first skirmish was in trying to recruit guys to join me. Surprisingly, I lost that fight about as quickly as Sonny Liston hit the deck in Lewiston. The second scuffle was in simply trying to decipher the weather forecast. The local sports talk radio show I listen to (Shoe and Joe on WJAB) gives really sparse weather forecasts which is fine because I don’t believe most of it anyway so more info is just wasted but yesterday the line was “temperatures near 40.” Does that mean just over 40 or just under and trust me, that’s a HUGE line of demarcation when deciding whether or not to golf. I’ll play in the 40’s but not the 30’s. There, I’ve said it. That’s my line. Don’t ask me to golf if it’s in the 30s. So now I’m driving south to the Links At Outlook in South Berwick battling the thought that maybe I should be doing something else. At some point I got a phone call from the course asking when I was planning on arriving because they had some frost issues. Frost is the stuff that disappears when the sun hits it. Unfortunately, what they had at Outlook was a little more like frozen solid like a rock issues and did I mention that the sun never really came out? I had a lovely time hanging out in the lounge chatting with the lads and drinking their beer but I was staring out the window like a dog keeping his eye on a three-legged cat combating the feeling that I had driven an hour and waited even more on a course that seemed destined to not open. Finally, I got the nod that I could play holes 3 through 9 and I was outside before the guy even finished his sentence.

Although I thought I had packed every conceivable item I might need to brawl the December near 40 chill, I was dismayed to discover I had somehow left the winter golf gloves behind. If I had to rank all the things I wear when it’s cold in terms of importance the winter gloves are THE Ohio State of gear – a dominant number one. A huge loss in the fight against the elements but I forged ahead anyway. I was trying to bag the elusive 10 month Maine golf season and I would not be denied.

One thing I don’t fight this time of year is fashion. All bets are off when you’re wearing a ski hat and longjohns. Face it. You look stupid just being on the course. The clothes don’t change anyone’s opinion. I hope.

Another fight I just walked away from was trying to put a tee in the ground. That didn’t faze me as I wasn’t really psyched about hitting my new driver for fear of shattering it so 5 wood off the deck it was. The holes into the wind, it wouldn’t have mattered what I was hitting because they weren’t reachable and on the downwind holes I was hitting the 5 wood 300 plus anyway. What adds 50 yards to your tee shot also makes it impossible to land a ball on a green. I played the 7th hole three times and each time I striped a drive and had between 50 – 60 yards downhill pitch to the green. All three times I landed my shot short and watched bemusedly as my ball bounced onto the green and then shot like a super ball over the green and into the crap. What frost giveth, frost taketh away. No point fighting that.

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