Even if you’re one of the approximately seven people who watched Weekend At Bernie’s II you probably don’t remember one of the dudes from the cartel uttering the line, “ask no questions – tell no consequences.” Actually, aside from Bernie in the conga line, it’s pretty much all I do remember because it’s such a perfectly wacky utterance. On the other hand, it’s not a bad philosophy when you’re golfing with your buds.

I played Sugarloaf yesterday and can report without hesitation that the course is in the best shape I have ever seen it. By far. The greens have never been better and the fairways, from what I heard, were mint. Personally, I am better able to speak to the conditions of the rough, woods, bushes and streams that were fine as usual. Found lots of Pinnacles.

Just like Don’t Fear The Reaper was made even better when they added more cowbell, Maine’s golf scene gets even better after Labor Day with the subtraction of the transient golfers. Wait. No. If the tourists are Blue Oyster Cult and I am famed producer Bruce Dickinson then… Nope. Still not it. Hold on. If you have the golf fever, then fall in Maine is the cure. Whatever.