Next year when you pick up the revised Webster's Dictionary and look up 'anticlimactic' you'll likely see this: 'See: Shannon's Beach to Beacon race attempt'.

After all the talk and all the effort, I only made it to mile 3. The truth is...I was knocked unconscious saving Joan Benoit Samuelson from a crazed fan who attempted to kidnap her (with plans, it's believed, to create a Joan clone and profit from gambling on future Olympic races).

Well, that's not exactly true. Really, I shattered my femur after I leapt from the road to avoid a collision with a parade of infants who had crawled into the race course path. I continued to run on the broken leg, grunting in pain and continuing to be hardcore, but 8 race officials forced me to stop.

What do you mean that's a load of baloney?

Truth is (really) the first two miles were a breeze (i.e., I didn't feel like I was going to die). But somewhere just before the 3rd mile my right foot hit the pavement and it felt as though someone had just stabbed my ankle. It was already sore - but not that sore - from running on the bad shoes (at least I'm blaming the shoes) a couple of weeks ago. At mile 3, however, I couldn't even walk on it. I mean, my eyes were tearing, and I'm not one to tear.

So I sat with an ice pack and watched the rest of the runners go by...then the walkers...then the sloooow walkers and the disappointment set in.

How could I come back to the blog after such a horrendous defeat? I've been practicing avoidance since Monday, I admit (though I've also been on vacation, showing a fellow flatlander around Maine...limping) but had to finally come clean.

In an effort to alleviate some of the guilt, I also changed my race number:

I've renamed the race the "Beach Toward Beacon 5K."

Still doesn't make me feel any better. Neither does the doctor telling me "it's just a strained muscle. Take some ibuprofen and try to stay off it." What? A strained muscle? I can't show my face again with a strained muscle! Can't you break it for me or something? Give it a good poke with the scalpel so at least there's a scab?

No such luck, so I guess I'll just live with the shame for years to come.

Wait, what's this? The Trail to Ale 10k in September? How hard can that be?

Congrats to all those who DID finish - especially the Reach the Beacon group. Ya'll kicked arse.

Remember that post this morning that said later today I'd post some words of wisdom? I lied. I don't have any.

But if you're really in the need, try this collection of inspirational running quotes.

This is my last entry before the race, so before I toss myself to the will of the running gods, I wanted to say "Thanks" for the support and good humor you've offered along the way.

Thanks for reading, thanks for posting and thanks for the e-mails.

For those of you running tomorrow, good luck! You'll do great.

And even if you don't it's just a race. Nothing major can happen.

Well, actually you could get hurt. But no worries, the pain can only last an hour or two.

Actually that's not true - you could permanently damage something. But you won't die.

Well, unless...I should stop.

I'll be back for a post-race wrap up on Monday, but until then I'll be lounging on the Saco River (with beer), getting some rest (with beer), taking it easy (with beer) and enjoying the sense of accomplishment (with beer).

See you on the other side.

I've been remiss in not updating for the last couple of days -- that's because the only thing I could think of to say is: "I'm scared. Nervous. Borderline crazed."

And who wants to read that?

My heart has been racing since Monday and this time, Turbo can't be blamed. I also picked up my race packet yesterday and spotted the "Notice: Road closings" signs everywhere. I nearly drove off the road in panic.

I know I'm not going to die. I know I'm going to finish (eventually). Even the race time isn't important to me. Under 1:20 and I'd be ecstatic. But my ankle is taking the brunt of what was once a shin issue (must've been compensating, running funky and strained something) and I fear I may be walking a good portion of the race.

But I'll be there and I'll finish.

On a side note, if you've never tried an Icy-Hot Patch, go get one. Pain or no, they're just cool (pun intended).

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John Rogers (Maine Running Company owner and our Reach the Beacon training captain) sent out this list of tips that hopefully he won't mind me sharing:

DRINK! Keep hydrated all the time. You will feel better and you always want to avoid dehydration. It will sap energy. Concentrate on drinking fluids, especially water, several days before the race.

Try to catch up on sleep! Don't worry about jitters and insomnia the night before a race. If you get good sleep the week of the race, the night before won’t matter. Getting enough sleep a few days before the race will also help keep you healthy and do your body wonders.

Be Positive. During your easy runs, take time to reflect on all the hard work you've done. Let this knowledge bring you a sense of accomplishment and confidence. Visualize yourself running strong and succeeding.

Ensure You Are Wearing Proper Footwear. Did you really think I wouldn't bring this up? Seriously, it is important to wear proper footwear. If your shoes have more than 400 - 600 miles on them, or you've had them more than six months, the cushioning properties have greatly diminished. Get a new pair, but make sure it is not the night or day before.

Don't Take Off Too Fast at the Start. You're tapered, you're ready, you're fired up, the energy of the crowd is exciting and your adrenaline is pumping. All this can lead to a great race. Don't do what your body is begging to do, which is to take off like an Indy car driver coming out of the pits. Pay attention to your early pace. If you don't feel like you're holding back a little, chances are you're running to fast. Although you feel good, the problem is that once your body settles in and the adrenaline rush is over, running too fast in the early miles will catch up with you later

Adjust Your Race Plan as Needed. Once race day has arrived you have a goal you hope to accomplish. Unfortunately, last minute factors may hinder this. If it is a really hot day, just know that your goal time will have to be adjusted. If you have a cold or are recovering from an illness, your time will reflect this. At this point, the key to feeling good about your race is to accept that there are variables you cannot control and let it go.

Have Fun And Enjoy The Day. You have taken on a big challenge and worked hard. Be proud of yourself….have a great race!!!

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I have to get back to work (unbelievable, right, that my job makes me work) but I'll be posting some inspirational last-minute words of wisdom this afternoon (once someone tells me what those "words of wisdom" are).