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By John Rolfe Sunday, April 1, 2007

Hey, did you hear the one about the 400-pound guy who's planning to run the Boston Marathon two weeks from tomorrow?

This is no April Fool's joke. Jacob Seilheimer had topped out at 438 pounds when 2007 started. Now he has exercised his way down to 360-something, which he acknowledges is probably still more than the combined weights of the first three guys to finish the marathon on April 16.

It's still 10 pounds above Seilheimer's Boston goal of 350, which is close to his playing weight as an offensive tackle at Colby, from which he graduated in 2003. But at a little over 6 feet and 2 inches, he's well on the way to his eventual goal of 290, which he says he last weighed in ninth grade, in his native Wisconsin.

Today he's a second-year law student at Franklin Pierce in Manchester, N.H. His running training has been limited to "three pretty long (9-mile) runs in the last three months," after one of which his left knee "got a grapefruit on it," but he was 25 pounds heavier then than now.

He's done some hour-and-45-minute jogs and spends 20 hours a week on a recumbent bike, and he's totally realistic about what he's facing in trying to cover the 26.2 miles from Hopkinton to Copley Square.

"It's not going to be pretty," Seilheimer admits. Jog-walk miles at about 18-minute pace would bring him into town before dark, and he's determined to get through: "Barring something physical, like a dislocated hip or something, I can at least crawl the last few miles."

He'll be accompanied by a couple of ex-Colby teammates who have run Boston before. All three will travel as bandits. For planning to do Boston despite official status, Seilheimer has been roundly criticized by correspondents to his Web site, whatwouldjacobdo.com. But far more people have cheered his mission, and contributed to the charities he is raising money for, including the American Cancer Society and the Special Olympics.

So, what will Jacob do at Boston? Former UMaine football standout Steve Stinson -- who shed more than 100 pounds over about 18 months on the way to running Boston in 2001 -- said he thinks Seilheimer could walk-jog all the way, provided he's done the training.

"He'd probably burn 20,000 calories at the end of that day," surmises Stinson, fitness director at the Bay Club. "And trigger motivation in some people as well, especially because he's still there in the midst of the struggle."

Check out his Web site, which includes videos of Seilheimer training, and you find that he has indeed inspired admiration. ("All the girls from Europe will be chasing after you if you make it" writes Sarah G. from London) and been vilified ("I'll be there on race day to spit on your lifeless corpse when you go down," chirps e-pal Nelson P. of Connecticut).

The Web attention, some media notice such as radio interviews, and the charity fund-raisers are helping to keep Seilheimer committed.

"As a personal thing, it's good for me, but why should anyone else care?" he asks. "This way, there's money going to a good cause."

Maybe he'll finish Boston. Maybe he won't.

Either way, he says, he'll be out in Boston and celebrating that post-race evening. And either way, one has to applaud Seilheimer's effort.

The Portland Boys and Girls Club Patriots Day 5-miler goes off for the 78th time at noon that same Monday and here's a cool first for the tradition-rich race: Computer chip timing, for all who sign up before April 13. Returning are the 10 a.m. kids run and the $1,000 Haley Challenge, as presented by Daniel T. Haley Insurance and Norway Savings Bank: First male under 24:30 and female under 28 flat win $1,000.

That would be in addition to prize money that tops out at $175. The fee is just $10 in advance, $15 on race day. Everybody gets a Sea Dogs game ticket, and T-shirts go to the first 500. To sign up, go to www.bgcmaine.org or mainetrackclub.com. Last year's winners were a couple of stars; Freeport's Ethan Hemphill in 25:38, and Heidi Westerling of New Hampshire in 28:44. Westerling went on to win the Vermont City Marathon (2:44:02) and qualify for the 2008 Olympic Trials. It was Hemphill's fifth straight Pats Day victory.

If you've ever heard Dick Beardsley speak, you undoubtedly want to again. (I've seen him move a pasta dinner crowd to tears.) If you haven't, here's your chance.

Beardsley and John Brant, who wrote "Duel In The Sun" about Beardsley and victor Alberto Salazar's heart-stirring battle to the finish in the 1982 Boston Marathon, will do a meet-and-greet run at the First Parish Church at 425 Congress St. on Thursday, April 12, followed by a talk at 7 p.m.

The $10 event benefits the Portland Public Library and is sponsored by Maine Running Company and New Balance.

For more information, call 773-6601.

A must-download: "The Runner," off the new Kings of Leon album, mentions Maine twice.

John Rolfe of Portland is a staff writer and a road runner. He can be reached at 791-6429 or at: